Sentio ergo sum.

This piece is about sentio ergo sum or the difficulty of a thinker to go beyond thinking.

Is it our ability to think that makes us human, that denotes our existence? I claim that this is not sufficient because it is unnecessarily restrictive. It appears that it is our ability to think that actually is the basis of existence. I’m not claiming that without feeling there’s no existence. What I say is that without feeling existence is trivial.

The question is whether it is possible to entirely separate off thinking from feeling. If we were to feel, could we do it without thinking? Similarly, if we were to think, would we want to do it without feeling? Would it matter?

It all boils down to a constant struggle between rationality and emotionality. Emotionality is irrational by definition. If we were because we think, we are not because we feel. It follows logically that emotionality goes beyond existence. It goes beyond secular existence.

Does this mean that there might be different levels of existence? Does this mean that the emotional level of existence, if it existed, is spiritual? If it were, are we connected to something that’s greater than the rational when we feel? If this was true, then thinking can in fact be separated from feeling. If feeling is pure, then thinking does not matter. It loses its significance. Thinking and feeling in their pure form cannot coexist. In thinking’s stead, the absolute loss of reason leads to a gain of a deeper understanding of what it really means to exist. Once the discussion concerns meaning, reasoning comes into play again. In order to discern the meaning that feeling has for our existence, we need to think about it. We need to consciously reflect on it. 

Our ability to feel is a gift that comes at a price. In its pure form, it may dissolve the ability to think. The thinker lets loose of his rationality and is endowed with something that is greater than ratio.

Sentio ergo sum.

The end of hibernation

There I am, back from hibernation.

Winter brought snow, cozy moments in the winter garden, and good laughs with family and friends. Then I found myself getting back to reality, which was (and is) filled with countless hours in the office, liters of coffee, and delicious cupcakes. At the same time, the international community is welcoming and provides some indispensable leisure opportunities and comfort.

Rarely, however, reflection on a life I chose to lead is possible. I know that it’s somewhat derisory to say that there’s a lack of time, particularly since I’m an absolute believer in and practitioner of efficient time management.  Needless to say that for the important things in life there shall always be time. It’s all a matter of priority. However, when your priorities are relatively widely spread, time may indeed work against you (IVB!). Ergo I’m happy to finding a moment for reflection.

In terms of academics, I’m a happy person. Two of my (highly excellent, peripherally boring) review papers have been accepted for publication. At the same time, one got rejected and I need to work on three further papers’ revisions. It’s quite odd that I still want to write now. Be that as it may, the most proximate plan is to finally put my precious survey online. After approximately twelve times of inputting it, I need to do it all over again. The highly sophisticated website won’t allow any mistakes and makes you start all over again once you miss a coma or other trivialities that are of high importance. Research is fun!

In terms of sociability, life is good. I am constantly meeting interesting people, who understand all the pressure and pain a PhD-to-be is going through. At the same time, they do appreciate the apparent cultural differences that make the British quite peculiar (or that make us “foreigners” quite odd). I learned that networking, even on an almost entirely academic scale, is one of the most precious gifts a PhD project entails. It is all about sharing, whining and laughing and taking it easy. A friend’s smile will always brighten up your day. A friend’s frown, on the other hand, will produce frowning on your behalf. The goal is sharing emotions, sharing life.

Apart from the emergence of new people, old people bid goodbye. This, for myself, is something that may cause serious damage to equilibrium and self-perception. It appears that the world is not always the perfect little place one dreams it is. Potentially, it is necessary to leave the safe and secure place that is called my little world and view life more critically. Once the pink bubble bursts there’s no way back. Even if there was some secret path back to pink, this path will be paved with blue stumbling blocks. Those call for more critical, sometimes cynical, reflection. The apparent loss is not only a loss of an external person, but it is a loss of a petite part of the internal person, yourself. It appears rather naïve to claim that a loss is a gain in growth. Maybe it’s a question of time. There we are again, with time working at a high pace. Sometimes what you need to do is to ask for a time-out.